not so random

I really love the parts of our sets where we get to go off and play what seems like random noise. It is a very freeing part of the night. Instead of having to play predetermined parts I can let loose with whatever I am feeling right then. I guess it seems as though it would be hard to mess this up but I always judge these parts. Sometimes I make mistakes in them and it pisses me off. I'm sure nobody can really "tell" the difference but when I do what I want to it conveys something different then when I make a mistake. It feels much more like what goes on inside my head then when we actually play songs. Kind of scrambled. Ideas that come and go before I really have a chance to analyze them, with a whole bunch of nonsense in between. Bringing the thoughts back together and going back into a song feels good too. It feels as though I can forcefully exert control over my mind, making it think in a organized pattern once again. Suddenly I gain conscious control and that gives me a feeling of power. Its very therapeutic.
-Jarrett D